Pea soup! Bland, greasy comfort food. Burritos! Spicy, bold Mexican treats.
Two good, fine meals. But what if… what if someone were to bolt them together? To take these two greasy comfort dishes and create a monstrous creature of deliciousness!
But what’s that you say? It would be playing God?
Bah! You lack the will of the true scientist! It is only through such dangerous, unethical experiments that mankind has been able to develop the wheel and the orthopaedic sandal! Do you think Sir Arthur Churro or Dr Lionel Sushi had to kowtow to the ethics committee when they invented culinary marvels?
But I seem to have drifted from the subject. Pea soup burritos!
Recipe for pea soup: take dried peas and cook.
There’s a little more to it than that, but not by a bunch. Take a packet of green split peas, rinse them and pick out any crap. Put in a pot with a ham hock or some bacon bones. You can leave out the smoked meat if you’re a vegetarian, or just someone who hates tasty food. Cover with about water or stock. Simmer, stirring occasionally and skimming the surface now and then. Keep doing this until you have pea soup.
That should make about four or five servings. I’ve taken one serving from this and cooked it down into an extra-thick pea soup.
Yes. See how it glistens with rendered ham-fat and love! Ah, fear not, thick pea soup, for you shall live again.
YOU! SHALL! LIVE!
How to make the salsa: buy one jar of salsa.
Put a serving of pea soup on the wrap. Add lettuce, tomato and salsa. You might also want to add sour cream and cheese, but you would be wrong.
Deeply, troublingly wrong. Seriously, what’s the matter with you? Sour cream and pea soup? Seriously?
It’s alive! Actually, surprisingly tasty. The pea soup is close enough to refried beans for the burrito to work, but different enough to make the experiment worth the effort. The gooey, greasiness of the pea soup contrasts nicely with the freshness of the salad. All in all, an abomination that just mumbles: ‘Hate bland! Love tasty! We belong tasty!’