B.G. Hilton – Writer

Pulp Adventures 6: I’m Still Not Talking to You, Mission Control

“Houston to Mars Rocket, come in, over.”

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Uh… Who else would it be?”

“Well, I’m not talking to you.”

“Why not?”

“You know why not!”

“Colonel Michaels, could we not do this now? All the media of the Earth are watching.”

“And is there anything you don’t want them to know, Gary?

“No, I’m just saying this isn’t a good time, Colonel.”

“Oh, how formal.”

“(laughs nervously) We, uh, we do need to give you some important information. Space information. Be good if, uh, be good if you were listening.”

“Can’t you text me?”

“Can we..? (muffled) Can we text him? Uh huh… Bill says…”

“I don’t even want to hear it if it’s coming from Bill.”

“Anyway, he says we can send a sort of ticker-tape, punchcard sort of deal. It was built for emergencies. Not…”

“Not what?”

“Nothing.”

“No, tell me.”

“Not effin’ hissy fits, that’s what.”

“Well! It’s good to have that out in the open!”

“Could you just read the ticker tape?”

“Capsule re-entering atmosphere… No, I’m fine here, thanks.”

“Colonel, you’re literally re-entering the atmosphere, right now.

“I do not have time for this shit.”

“You know what? Be that way. Go sulk while your capsule splashes down, genius.”

“Maybe I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Be that way!”

“Why don’t I!”

(Long pause)

“You coming to Mom’s birthday, Friday?”

“(sigh) Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Bring cake. Houston, signing off.”

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