Do It Yourself: The Story So Far

No update this week. Instead a recap for those of you who may be becoming confused (including me).

The Handy Pavilion is a big-box hardware shop in the South Hertling Super Centre, somewhere in suburban Australia. It used to be the only hardware centre in its neighbourhood, until it was rivalled by up-and-coming hardware chain the DIY Barn.

One of the Handy Pavilion's employees is Axel Platzoff. A former world-class supervillain, Axel has been working at the Pavilion as part of his parole. A chance encounter with is archenemy Captain Stellar leads him to fixate on the DIY Barn as a substitute foe.

Axel gains the help of Norman from power tools and Fiona from plumbing, who help him in his scheme to hurt the DIY Barn by robbing an armoured car carrying some of their takings. The consequences of this are that the Barn seeks reprisals and has Axel (ineffectually) assaulted; Karl Wintergreen from the Super Center Newsletter begins investigating Axel, and Fiona has a crisis of conscience and seeks help from her supervisor, Wellsey.

Gwen Harper, a dryad who works in the timber section, is in unrequited love with Norman. An alchemist named Pennington offers her a love potion, which she initially refuses. Wrongly believing that Norman is in love with Fiona, she changes her mind and accepts the potion in exchange for her magic dryad hearing. She attempts to use the potion on Norman.

At first, it seems as if the potion has caused Norman to fall in love with the Pavilion's General Manager, Ms Shan. However, it is later revealed that Norman is immune to potions, and fell in love with Ms Shan naturally.

In retaliation for the loss of the armoured car, silver-clad thugs from the DIY Barn attempt to destroy the Pavilion garden centre. They are stopped by a garden gnome called Seamus and former Pavilion employee Zorbar Ofthechimps. The Barn operatives knock Zorbar over with a ute and kidnap him. Some of Zorbar's friends find where Zorbar is with the help of a ghost named Bruce. Axel aims to blow a hole in the wall of the Barn and free Zorbar, but he is confronted by Captain Stellar.

Stellar's boyfriend has left him, and he has been spiralling into depression and alcoholism. His intervention causes Axel's superweapon to explode, knocking Stellar through the wall of the Barn, freeing Zorbar. It also causes severe injuries to Gwen, and gives superpowers to new employee Laura Cho. Gwen disappears. Laura becomes the superhero Voyager and is given the disgraced Stellar's position on the superhero team the Vigilancers.

A wave of 'accidents' hits the Pavilion, and is revealed to be the work of the mysterious figure called the Phantasm of the Pavilion. The Phantasm's protégé, Christian, rises rapidly in the power tools department. The Phantasm lives in what seems to be a secret chamber below the Pavilion accessed by the toilets. However, the chamber is actually a pocket dimension powered by a crystal skull. When that skull blocks the pipes, it is removed by plumbers. The skull remains in the possession of Christian, who does not know how to rescue his mistress.

The Barn attacks the Pavilion again, this time with a giant robot. The ghost, Bruce, is able to possess the robot, disguising his new body by making it into a concrete truck. He fights off another Barn attack by transforming back, a feat that is witnessed by Karl Wintergreen.

Norman, sidelined from his beloved power tools by Christian, goes to an unsatisfying position in the Pavilion café. There he has an awkward meeting with his father, Zeus, and also unknowningly suggests to Captain Stellar that Axel is the cause of his downfall.

Stellar confronts Axel, but thinks better of it and walks away. Axel, unable to cope with a conflict with a superhero that doesn't end in a physical battle, goes off the rails, sublimating his anger and confusion in handicrafts.

A demonic meteorite strikes the Pavilion, forcing Fiona to publically use her water powers to save the day. Bruce worries that the meteor was intended to disperse his spirit by destroying his earthly remains. He convinces Karl Wintergreen to accept Ms Shan's request that he investigate the DIY Barn.

Laura Cho is confronted by a future version of herself, who warns her that the future is in peril if a particular customer is able to buy a pulley. Meanwhile, Nalds Teheintausand, a killer android from the future who works in the arts and crafts department, meets Fanaka, a time traveller from an alternate history. She learns that the futuristic reign of the computers from which she hales might not come into being. Axel, distracted by trying to help Nalda and Fanaka make sense of it all, absentmindedly sells Laura's customer a pulley.

So that's the plot to date. Oh, and Sadie MacGregor from lighting and her sister Angela from curtains and blinds are probably somehow manipulating people for good and evil purposes, respectively.

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