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Good news, my tens of loyal readers! My first novel, a steampunk adventure story (title TBC) is to be published early next year by the good people at Odyssey Books. Those who have been reading my South Hertling Chronicles will be pleased to know that this work will be professionally edited and much less rambling.

When I started writing this blog, the idea was to use it to get a little PR going in for when (if!) I ever managed to get my novel published. And this gave me an idea: there's lots of blogs where professional writers talk about writing and publishing and related ideas. Maybe I should do a similar blog, only from the point of view of someone who hasn't got a foot in the door yet.

But I wussed out. What would happen if I never got that foot in the door? All I'd have is this long, series about failures without a reversal of fortune as a payoff. A constant reminder of what might have been, like Miss Havisham's wedding dress only publically viewable to anyone with an internet connection. And the idea did not please me.

Which is a pity. I should have gone with it. I should have just recorded this journey. There are any number of successful people who can tell you about how they succeeded, but that's only half the story. If you want to succeed, you should not only know how people succeeded, but also how they failed. And I should have been brave enough to write about failure.

Not that I'm successful yet, of course. One of the things that's slowly seeping in is that I've been so focused on this first hurdle of finding a publisher, and now I have to move on and think about editing and marketing my book, working out the sequel (fingers crossed). Perhaps I'll write about some of that stuff. But more realistically, I'll just be hate-crushing on In Search Of… and writing little vaudeville routines about the good people of South Hertling. Either way I hope my readers will stick around – both of you.

Anyway, that's my rant. Buy my book when it comes out, it will be awesome.

PS – To all the nice people who try to spam their sites in comments and get killed in moderation: you are all very polite. Even though your praise of my blog is completely insincere, I still appreciate it.

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Control Room

When the lights went down, Jacobs the engineer didn't have time to wait for R17 to climb the stairs from the pump-room. He ran up them two at a time, tripped, fell on his face, turned on the flashlight on his phone, and ran up them again. Bursting from the pump-room door, he ran across the corridor into the Trilobite Park control room. Backup power was on inside the room indicated – for some reason – by a red incandescent bulb that the unknown original engineer had seen fit to install.

"Converse with me, humans," Jacobs said.

There was a long pause before a palid young man in an Aquaman t-shirt replied: "Do you mean 'talk to me people?'"

"Yes," Jacobs said, hoping that the reddening of this face wasn't visible in the crimson light. "That." ...continue reading "Trilobite Park — Chapter 11: No Improvements Here"

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Jacobs and R17

In the cool damp bowels of Trilobite Park, Jacobs the chief engineer was heading towards apoplexy. The plumbers who he had hired were nowhere to be seen, the pumping room was full of smashed barrels and there actually seemed to be more pipes running spaghetti-like through the room.

"This is bad engineering," he said. "The engineering is just bad."

He noted that this wasn't much of a thing to say, but as there was no one there to hear him, he didn't suppose that it made a difference.

The robot R17 entered from upper doorway. "Beep," it said.

"No, stay there…" Jacobs began, too late to stop the thing from toppling down the stairs. ...continue reading "Trilobite Park — Chapter 10: From Worse to Worserer"

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In Search Of s04e14 San Andreas Fault Leonard Nimoy
So, revision: the San Andreas Fault is in...? Come on, gang... American state... starts with a 'C'... Let's not always see the same hands.

We open on the San Andreas Fault, so full marks there. Spooky music and Nimoy talking in urgent tones. Shots of buildings and surveyors. When will the next great earthquake strike.

Yay! Disaster porn! My third favourite type of porn, after foodporn and gifs of industrial lathes.

Anyway, shots of beaches, Golden Gate Bridge, deserts, freeways. Is this California? Nimoy says 'yes'. Having moved from his 'earthquakes are going to kill us all' urgency, he settles gently into a sonorous explanation of fault lines. It's lovely and the shots of the Fault itself. I've heard a lot about the effects of the Fault, but I have to admit I had no idea what the Fault itself actually looked like until now -- like a seam where the Earth was sewn shut or something. ...continue reading "In Search Of…s04e14 The San Andreas Fault"

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It sat in the cafeteria, swimming -- though out of water. It swam through a head, a brain… the brain of an air breather. The host was strange – its blood was warm, its skeleton internal. Instead of an armour of interlocking plates, it had a soft skin like a worm. And yet it would do. It would do!


Barry Hodges sat in the Trilobite Park cafeteria, drinking the worst coffee he'd ever tasted and listening to really lazily written narration from the prehistoric ghost-trilobite or whatever the Hell it was that had taken up residence in his head. To make matters worse, he couldn't manage to get Captain Pete to sit down with him and finish the paperwork. All in all, it was turning into a pretty shitty day.


It stared through the strange eyes of the one known as 'Bar-Ry.' The air-breather was… well, not resisting it as such. More ignoring it. It couldn't help feeling a little bit put out. But that wasn't the point. It had more important work to do… ...continue reading "Trilobite Park – Chapter 9: Barry’s Hassle"

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